On my breath
by FacetheFake
Summary: An addiction to anything isn't healthy. But sometimes its the only option... This is yaoi and not a oneshot unless I'm feeling lazy. Please R and R. Teehee couldn't help myself!
1. Chapter 1

**Okay heres another Sasunaru fic simply because I can and basically yeah because I can. I don't think I'm a very profound person but its fun pretending... I like De-NILE its a place in Egypt. Hararhahaha.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto and Sasuke I just put them together and make them do naughty, naughty things... When I'm not feeling prudish... -**

Naruto Uzumaki at 18 was almost legend like among the clans. He had passed his ninja exams with flying colours and had even managed to harness the chakra of the Kyuubi. He was attractive in a rugged blonde sort of way, smart although one could not compare to Sakura on that account and generally had a happy disposition that everyone in Konoha village loved and admired. He had come a long way from the brat who had painted each sacred sculpture of the four.

"I should..bee... veryr happpppy.." He slurred a bit over the sake cup. Naruto just couldn't bother remembering how many he had and at the moment he was quite sure he couldn't. "Sa..ku..ra would kknow..." It took quite an effort to really speak at all at this point. But that was ok, Naruto didn't mind too much. At 18 he was living the life he always dreamed of... just without one key factor... the one he wanted most...Sasuke. Even just "thinking" his name conjured up his image. No matter how much sake he ingested that face would never leave his mind. It merely blocked it out. If his alcoholic escapades were successful... If not well.. he put one hand up to his as if to soothe the twinge Sasukes face had caused, he'd had years to adjust to the pain anyway. And you do keep going, you can't help that. Life doesn't stop for you although you rally against it. It keeps going so you keep going. Despising yourself all the way...

"ooh.. hic lisssten to meeee. It seeeeeems I'm all hic philosssssssssophhhhical... today. Kakashi would be pleased.." Thats if Kakashi would talk to him. His mentor was disgusted with him at the moment. He'd thought Naruto was a disgrace, leading this double life of sorts. On one hand competant shinobi on the other drunken idiot. "Hahaha Kaakaasshi sssenssei. You hic can be dissssgusssted all you want his with me. I'mm a gunna hic keeeep my drinnkin' habits..." _ It wasn't like he was hurting anybody either_. He did it privately Kakashi sensei only knew of them, well... because he **was** Kakashi sensei. _You can't hide anything for long from that guy. _Naruto had known the day that Kakashi sensei found out would happen eventually. He would of wished that he would have been slightly less inebriated.. "Whats.. done isss hic done...oh well." _I can deal with you despising me Kakashi sensei. Heck I dealt with that since I was a child. His eyes clouded over with the next thought. The only thing that I can't deal with is that anytime someone even hints at that teme, all those pieces of me that I keep trying to put back together... just fall apart. And the fact that I would trade everything I own and am just for the slightest trace of his whereabouts... Everything that I've achieved up until now. Everything that I've strived for all of my life. I'd gladly trade for you Sasuke. You wouldn't even have to like me back at all.._Naruto smiled sluggishly at the bottle before him.

"I ssshould drnnnk more offf..uten hic My painsss almost pooo-eeetic..." Blue eyes groggy with drink and lack of sleep blinked away tears. " Pity itsssss not hic only thhhhatt." And with that Naruto Uzumaki, the admired and respected ninja who had brought great honour to his clan, passed out upon the floor of his apartment. Amidst the sea of dirty clothes and empty bottles...

That was where Sasuke found him..

A mysterious black robed ninja crept quietly amongst the rubbish in the place. He frowned a little, the rule of silence required a bit more concentration than usual.. He hissed as he stood still for a litlle. Trying to find another route around the bottles. _Definetly a bit more, indeed_. He took a deep breath. Naruto hadn't always been the cleanliest of the lot or even the most hygeneic. But he had been a damn sight better than this. _This mess was almost shikamaru worthy_. Almost... He sniffed. He thought he could smell rotten food... One sculpted eyebrow tweaked. _ Scratch that its far far worse..._

Dobe what the hell have you gotten yourself into..." he whispered rounding a bend, alert for any hint of ninja activity. After all it'd had been years since sasuke had seen that dobe. So of course Naruto would of got better in his ninja skills. He sniffed again as the scent of sake flooded the room.. _Or worse_. "Someones been indulging.. Baka no wonder you couldn't hear me coming..." he trailed off. There, over there lying prostrate on the floor was Naruto. The friend he had come to see after so long. The one person he treasured the most in secret for all these years. he'd come back to see Naruto and maybe even confess his feelings or something. He ran towards his prone form. For a second heart beating fast and kunai drawn. But He frowned. Naruto was clutching a bottle that had spilled everywhere. Sasuke slowly took note of the others littering the floor. "Dobe.. the way of a shinobi is a sober one..." He picked Naruto up gently, suprised to find more weight to him now. He carried him to a part of the bed that wasn't covered in filth., laying him down with the utmost care. "Whatever happened to you dobe??" He whispered, taking note of the circles under his eye, the lackluster hair, the sallow skin and the fact that one could count Naruto's ribs. "Whoever hurt you so bad that you'd do this to yourself?" Sasukes faced had concern etched into every feature. His hand press against Naruto's face. Suddenly those eyes opened and a tear trickled down slowly.

"I_'m such a idiot.. hic I dddidn't dddrink ennnough. I cannn ssstill sssee his faceee..."_

**I leave it there actually have life to lead well not really. Wowee I was feeling angsty teen style. Not sure what to do with it but nobody seems to review my workies. What if I tried reverse psychology on ya'll.. Absolutely Positively DON'T even thin about REVIEWING! cheerio**


	2. Chapter 2

**Wowee someone reviewed. Thank you uuber muchly. Teehee am rather happy now and guilty because have been trying to get a life together therefore couldn't really typey typey the shiny. But started listening to concience. I am such a weird child... Also be aware this is angsty and I do angsty with heavy tones. As well as yaoi tones Teehee**

**Disclaimer: Hmmm multi million dollar empire? Poor starving student? Of course I don't own it ppl.**

Narto smiled tenderly at the illusion. His hand reaching out slowly to push away a loose bang from Sasuke's beloveds face. Or it at least attempted to. His coordination was at an all time low.

Teme, why can't I ever seem to get over you..." A tear slowly leaked down Naruto's face. "Your always there haunting me... Always... But your never there att thhhe saame tiiimeee." "Tssk tssk tssk Naruuuuuuutooo now yooooouur talkin to yourr dreamss..." He slurred again. Shutting his eyes against the vision. "Sasukee isnt real.. He's gone. This is only gonna hurrt again." One eye peeked open... "He;s still there dammn it. I'm suppossed taa beee the greatest ninja and I can't even control my own mind... I think the sake's wearing off... I need mo.." Naruto stopped abruptly. He was on his bed. His bed. "Thats funny I don't remeber crawling up here, I don't remember much of anything really... though." **(A/n I gave up on the slurring I'm afraid. i'm just not good as a writer. Gomenasai!) ** He spied the cabinet of drawers and dived for it. Or at least tried too. He didn't get very far but he did manage to obtain the large bottle of alcohol within. "Everything happens for a reason..." Naruto smirked happily. "This is mine..."

Sasuke couldn't help but stare in horror. Naruto was completely drunk and by the looks of that bottle he was about to get drunker. It was time for an intervention. "Dobe don't you dare." he said reaching but missing (suprisingly) for the bottle. "Give it here now Naruto. You have had enough." He admonished glaring at Naruto only to find himself confronted by blue eyes tarnished with a sea of angst and hate. Naruto clutched the bottle to his chest almost tenderly.

"Who are you teme, who the hell are you, to lecture me. You bastard! You have NO RIGHT!... none at all." He almost whispered than not meeting Sasukes or the illusion sasuke's eyes. He was trying to get himself in control again.

"Dobe.."

"Urusai! Sasuke I don't care if your are just a dream just a product of my inebriated mind set but you can for Kami's sake just Shut THE FUCK UP!" _Forget the control, Naruto was going to say everything he ever wanted to to that teme and he didn't care if it wasn't real. It was better than this pathetic present thats for sre. "_I don't care if your an illusion sasuke, your still the concieted, arrogant self righteous bastard you always were. I also don't care **for **your lecturing me. You have no freakin right to do so. So get that through that thick head of yours!" Naruto puffed slightly out of breath. He had been so hurt that all that anger had come rushing out in a torrent. _Who cares, its better than crying in front of him. _But as he slowly looked up through blonde hair, slightly longer than Sasuke remembered it,. He knew he was going to do that too, very shortly. Sasuke looked hurt and despite all the cliche surrounding it and all that anger Naruto had lashed out, he hurt too. He couldn't help it. He loved sasuke. loved him so much that if the only time Naruto could see, hear, feel Sasuke was in his head, than he would gladly go insane. He just loved him so much. Naruto sighed looking up again and the stiff **Uchiha. **

"Sasuke I'm sorry I shouldn't have lashed out at you... I just can't keep this up you know... Ever since you left everyone keeps mentioning you despite the years that passed and now your here in my head... Teme why didn't you realised how much everybody loved you. how much I loved you... Baka. You just had to go your own way..." Naruto took a swi out of the bottle desperately... He needed it.

**Am leaving it there teehee. I'm not sure about this one.. though please tell me what you think on second thought reverse pschology worked kinda 1 review (nobody loves me everybody hates me think I'll go an eat worms!).. Therefore doooooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn'''''''''''''''tttttttttttttttttt tell me what ya'll think.**


	3. Chapter 3

**oooh okay here i go again, I know I've been neglecting the shiny but teehee am obssessive fangirl of many many things and things take time scary fact that! Here we go again..**

**Disclaimer: Sasunaru is like a drug and I am merely an addict not the dealer!**

Naruto struggled to focus on the bottle. His vision kept blurring in and out, he couldn't even read the label anymore... Hang on did it even have a label?? He proceeded to stare at the bottle intently for what must of been at least a minute, trying to determine just that.

"Funny that..hic... I'v-v-ve never been d-d-drunk enough to..hic.. lose my vision before." Naruto smiled up at the illusion-sasuke goofily. Or well what remained of him. Black spots kept obscuring the teme's face. He was becoming slowly number, he couldn't really feel anything anymore. Again he cast that goofy smile at Sasuke, blinking drowsily. "I'm afraid.. y-y-your gu.nna have t-o-o finnd someone else ta.. haunty.. spooky spook... I'm..." Naruto never finished that sentence, the last thing he saw was a worried illusion-sasuke knock the bottle from his hand and pull him close in horror. "mmmfff.." He was smiling he could even smell Sasuke...

"You IDIOT!" Sasuke screamed. He couldn't believe what the little dobe had done... That bottle had been poison. Sasuke could tell and the idiot had drunk it, none-the-wiser. "Naruto stay with me please!!" He hugged Naruto's prone form close. "Stay with me.." He gazed at the discarded bottle on the floor. He didn't recognise it all! "That's what you get for leaving here Sasuke.." he said bitterly as he once more gathered up the prone state of his friend.. "Looks like those years were all wasted. First your brother eludes you and now you get to watch your beloved die..." He almost laughed at himself as he sped out the door. He had to get Naruto to Kakashi, or even Tsunade. He hadn't planned on revealing his presence so soon. Konoha never took kindly to deserters. But as he felt his dobe's body cooling, he knew for a fact that Naruto couldn't die... Not now. Not when he could do something about it!

"Just let him keep breathing.." He prayed as the night fell around them. He needed Kakashi now.

XXXXXXXXXXX** Kakashi's time to shine **Nyaxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Kakashi scratched his head absently as he lazed back into his recliner. His scars were giving him trouble again. _ Man, must be getting old, my body feels like someone took a kunai to it. _He streched feeling something twinge. _Okay make that thousands of kunai. _ He wasn't really that old, he wasn't even 30 yet and wouldn't be for a year or two. So why did he have an irrepressable urge to curl up with a mug of sake or cocoa, the latest gucha gucha paradise and a tartan rug.

"Yep thats it ship me off to a senior citizens facility!" He smiled at the thought but shook his head sadly. He knew why he felt old all of a sudden, old and useless. His students. Sakura, Naruto and even Sasuke. They had all grown up now, all were as headstrong and as stubborn as the day they had come to him and much to his sorrow all of them had turned away from him. He really wasn't fit to be a team leader. He had always been a more independent Jonin and than the old Hokage had given him the three.

"I knew I was right old man. I knew I couldn't really cut it... Why the hell had you given them to me??" Look what had happened to the three. Sakura was barely civil to him anymore. He knew she blamed him for the degeneration of her teammates. She had done everything in her power to avoid him, that included going on long, dangerous missions for most of the year. And at her level?? She would never be as good a ninja as the other two. And she knew it When he had confronted her about it, she had just glared at him with frosty eyes and had said..

" Kakashi-san anything is better than remaining in the village. Why don't you try to help Naruto instead of bothering me. I have earned my ranks and am... no longer your concern."

_No longer your concern..._ Sakura always knew how to cut a person. Still she was right though, Naruto needed the help now...

_But what can I do? Naruto's trying so hard to avoid me too._ That idiot was doing his best to stay at least 10 miles away from his former teacher and it was a good thing he did too. Everytime they met there were fire works. Kakashi just couldn't help himself. Each time he looked into that drawn yet cheerful face, brimming with false platitudes, he just wanted to hit it. That wasn't the real Naruto at all, that had never been the real Naruto. It had just gotten worse after Sasuke left. Something had broken inside of that idiot. Something that Kakashi couldn't even begin fixing. Not to mention there was Naruto's **habit. **

He drank sake like it was water and the entire village was none-the-wiser. In fact there was even talk of making him the hokage's heir. Everybody just didn't seem to get it. Naruto was hurting, hurting so bad that he had turned to abuse. And as he was a legal and ranked adult of the village, Kakashi was frikin' powerless. And of course there was Sasuke, traitor extraordinaire and MIA. Not to mention training with Orochimaru...

"You sure can pick them.. you sure can.." He hung his head wearily, gazing at the photo on the mantelpiece. He remembered how Naruto and Sasuke had fought repeatedly over it and not to mention Sakura's endless preening. "Now look at them one out of her depth, the other an addict and the last well heck we don't even know where he is. Sure I'm a great teacher... Just brilliant with children... What will my next group be like huh?? Manic depressives??" He smiled bitterly. "Than they would become Hokage for sure! With this bunch of oblivious morons running the village they're a shoe in!" _You've really become cynical in your old age huh. _He gazed at the picture intently. _I wish I knew what to do for you all. I wish I had been better Narutokun, Sakura-chan and Sasuke-kun._

"Kakashi-sensei! Kakashi-sensei I really need your help! Please... He's DYING!"

**I leave it there everyone. If you really want to find out what happens please review as well i'm not too sure if I should just delete the damned thing grrrgh argle neff Authors sounds of pain as am racking brain for ideas**


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay so I lied no deletey, deletey. sadface. Instead will use what floundering resources of inspiration I have left to create another chapter... So here goes nothing... **

**Disclaimer: Sasuke Uchiha and Naruto Uzumaki are both heterosexuals'... So how could I ever, ever be their owner??**

Kakashi leaped up, hands' ready in an offensive jutsu. He might be old but he could at least defend himsef from what was out there... _Hang on... That voice..._

"Kakashi- sensei, PLEASE! I need your help... he's going to die, let down your defensive barrier.. Please!"

Whoever it was, was becoming more and more desperate. Kakashi could hear the plea in the stranger's voice. "Explain yourself first, and I'll consider it. I am not known among the shinobi for my amiability. And I have many enemies. Speak now or leave me in peace. I have books' to read!" Kakashi tapped his foot impatiently. Sure, it wasn't as if this was to be a productive evening, but still... It was the principle of the thing really...

"Please.. sensei it's me Sasuke.. I'm back and .. Nar-u-tt-o is dying.. I beg you..." The voice was almost hysterical now.

_Wait a second... The inconsiderate stranger trying to break in was Sasuke?? As in Uchiha Sasuke.. His trainee? Wait Naruto was dying. _Kakashi gulped, rushing through the hand-signs' that released the barrier, meanwhile rushing to a frantic looking Sasuke's aid. There was no mistaking the figure. That was definetly Sasuke. He still had that ridiculous hairstyle, just slightly longer. Kakashi looked down at the unconscious figure grasped tightly by his ex-student. Naruto had hardly any colour left in his cheeks at all. He leaned closer, Damn it! The idiot was barely breathing!

"Put him on the table now. What the hell happened back there? I want details and I want them now. " He pressed his hand tenderly against the death-like complexion of the blonde's. "Naruto..." he whispered. "Ganbate, Naruto-kun. Please hold on a little longer." He watched the estranged Uchiha like a hawk, an unholy suspiscion forming in his mind. "You didn't do this, Uchiha? Did you?" He didn't really believe, but Kakashi just had to know. Sasuke had been gone for years. They hadn't even heard rumours of his whereabouts let alone any solid proof. Just look at the other two, who could be sure that Sasuke hadn't become the type of creature Orochimaru was, exacting a last revenge. It took one look at Sasuke's face to shatter those misconceptions. The ninja was in such pain at Kakashi's words. In those eyes Kakashi could see the scar's. All of the festering wound's laid bare at careless words.

"It wasn't me sensei. I was there, but _it wasn't me! It could never be sensei.." _Sasuke trailed off, reaching for the bottle he'd stashed in his pockets. He almost flung it at his ex-sensei. "He drank this in mistake... here. He thought it was alchohol... I don't recognise it. So I brought him here..." He turned his back on Kakashi willing his control back. He couldn't allow himself to lose it. Naruto was dying. He could be hysterical later,just not now. Not when his dobe was in danger. "Is there anything you can do?" He turned regaining his composure and closing down the emotion in his voice. " We don't have much time..."

Kakashi stared at the bottle aghast. What the hell was Naruto doing with this? This was the most lethal of the poisons' in all the villages. Naruto, by law, should be completely ignorant of it, let alone have it in his possession.

"Naruto you have really done it. Sasuke do you have any idea where he got it? This is contraband to all but the elite. Even I am not authorised for possession." He looked down at Naruto sombrely. _When we get you through this there is going to be hell to pay Naruto... Your gonna be sober for weeks! _ Still he knew something that might work. A sort of all-cure remedy... He wasn't too sure of how it all came together, but it was definitely a powerful polutice. He ran a hand through blonde unkempt hair. _Naruto you are the most unworthy, hyperactive and idiotic shinobi I have ever met. Still if you don't pull through this, I'm gonna add weak to the list. You just can't die on me Naruto.._ He looked up at the petrified Sasuke's face..._ On us... _

"Stand back Sasuke-kun. I'm going to use a rather tempermental jutsu first. I've only seen this once, so bear with me as I invoke the Sharingan. Don't make a sound. I need to dredge this particular jutsu from way before I even led you guys'." Kakashi slowed his breathing turning his Sharingan inwards. This technique was still a little shaky to him. He would have to find it quickly, Naruto's breathing was getting shallower by the second.

Sasuke stood watching Kakashi intently, before moving to Naruto's side and claspiing Naruto's hand. _Why am I so helpless damn it?? All that training and I still could lose my loved one. Dobe, please don't leave me alone here... I know I don't deserve it at all.. But I'll never leave you again. _A silent tear trickled down his face, as he considered the next possibility... _ Unless you want me to... _

**Whoot leaving it there. I know, I know, I didn't really go into the remedy because I didn't want to sound like an absolute nutjob who had no idea what she was going on about. I also didn't go into the poison. Symmetry ppl! nYa. **


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